


I want to damage your calm, want to undo your smile

by Shadowcrawler



Series: Femslash February 2017 [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Tumblr Post, Competition, F/F, Femslash February, Foe Yay, Laser Tag, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9607067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcrawler/pseuds/Shadowcrawler
Summary: Melinda's determined to win this goddamn laser tag game.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this AU prompt](http://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/113796655008/): "a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me." It sort of...spiraled. As often happens with me.
> 
> Also I haven't played laser tag in like four years, so I'm working off of memories and what I can get from google. Apologies if I've gotten something egregiously wrong.

Melinda hates parties. So she’s not really sure why she’s at this one.

Okay, yes she is. Phil made pleading eyes at her until she agreed to come to his half-birthday party. (He does this every year instead of an actual birthday party, because July is a terrible time to try to get all your college friends together when half of them actually live in other states or countries. Nobody has any homework in early January, so it’s ideal, he says.)  He insisted she would have fun - “it’s laser tag, you love laser tag!” Which, she does. There aren’t a lot of opportunities in college to show off her marksmanship skills, and when she, Phil, Nick, and Maria are working together, they’re unstoppable.

So of course she ends up on the other team.

Phil’s friend Thor, who Melinda kind of knows but not really, picks her right after Phil picks Maria. It’s probably because Thor wanted to sabotage Phil, but Melinda still glares at Phil as she walked over to Thor’s side.

It’s not a complete disaster - Thor’s team ends up also having Nat and Clint on it, along with his friend Fandral (who definitely winks at Melinda, ugh) and Thor’s girlfriend Jane. Phil gets Sif, Hogun, Volstagg, and Nick. Phil, Nick, and Maria are the only ones here whose playing style she knows at all, but maybe that gives her an advantage against them.

While they’re waiting for the course to be available, Thor huddles up his team (he  _ is _ the football team captain after all, so it’s probably habit). Melinda rolls her eyes but leans in with the rest of them. She catches Jane’s eye, who also seems to be both exasperated and amused with Thor’s team captain approach. 

“You have the most insider knowledge of any of us,” Thor says, looking at Melinda. “What can you tell us?”

“Phil’s a team player,” Melinda replies. “Isolate him from the others, and he’s much less of a threat. He’s better when he’s got someone covering him. Without that, he slips up. Oh, and he favors his left hand. Old injury. Maria’s best when she’s acting as cover for someone else, and she’s a demon with these guns, so try to take her out as soon as you can. And Nick will try to stay to the edges and surprise you. Always watch your back.”

Nodding, Natasha says, “Clint and I can get Maria out of the way. We’ve got this game down to a science.” Clint offers his hand and they fistbump. 

Thor nods. “Thank you, that’s very helpful. Hogun will stake out a spot and work from there, and Sif will try to draw us out one by one and pick us off. Don’t let her.” He smirks. “I suspect Phil thought he weakened me by taking them, but just as you know your friends, I know mine.”

“Excellent!” Fandral says, grinning. “This’ll be delightful.”

Jane chuckles and adds, “Um, I’ll just find a place to hole up and try not to get shot in the first two minutes, thanks.”

“Don’t worry, love, you’ll be fine,” Thor reassures, smiling at her. 

Melinda glances over at Phil’s team and spots Sif staring blatantly at her. When they lock eyes, Sif seems a bit flustered but quickly rearranges her face into a casual smirk, and they both keep looking until Hogun distracts her with a question. Melinda sidles over to Natasha and murmurs, “What do you know about that Sif girl?”

“Hm? She’s a friend of Thor’s, I guess. On the varsity girls’ soccer team, I think she’s a women’s studies major? I haven’t seen her around much.” Natasha shrugs. “Why?”

“Just wondered,” says Melinda. “She looks like she might be trouble. She was staring at me.”

“Ooooooohhhh,” singsongs Clint, “she  _ liiiiiikes  _ you.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Natasha tells him fondly, and then to Melinda, “She’s probably sizing you up. You’re kind of infamous for being good at this, you know.”

“Really?” Melinda wrinkles her nose. Part of her likes that, but a bigger part of her hates it when people talk about her.

Clint nods. “All the freshmen know, if you go up against Melinda May in laser tag you’re gonna get your ass kicked spectacularly.”

Melinda snorts and replies, “Flattering. But I  _ do _ lose games, you know. Who started that bullshit rumor?”

Shrugging, Clint grins. “Phil, maybe? Or anybody you’ve ever beaten, which is a lot of people.”

“Not to interrupt, but I selected you first because I knew that with you on our side, we would be guaranteed victory,” chimes in Thor, grinning at her.

He’s so charming that she can’t really be mad at him, even though she’s getting more and more annoyed the more she hears about her reputation. “This is ridiculous,” she sighs, glancing longingly at the clock.

Finally, the room is open to them and they get their guns and battery packs and start suiting up. Thor’s team has red packs and Phil’s has blue. Maria smirks over at her and says, “Good luck. You’ll need it.”

“ _ You _ will,” retorts Melinda playfully. 

When the lights go out, Melinda doesn’t even wait before springing into action. She knows this course as well as she knows her childhood home, and she’s able to immediately seek out one of the best places to lie in wait (behind a wall near the center of the course, flanked by another wall so no one can sneak up on her). She hasn’t holed up at the beginning of a game in awhile, so none of the others will be expecting it.

Sure enough, she hears footsteps coming towards her and pops out just in time to hit Volstagg square in the chest, which is an automatic out. He yelps, and she can see Hogun fire at her but she ducks back behind the wall just in time. “Damn,” she hears Volstagg say to Hogun. “‘Twas a valiant effort, though. Best of luck, my friend.”

She waits for Hogun to move on before slinking out from behind the wall, keeping an eye out for anyone nearby. She spots a flash of red somewhere behind her and glances back to confirm that it’s one of her teammate. It’s Nat, who nods a greeting at her and gestures to the right to indicate where an enemy is. Melinda nods in reply and they start stalking together, both keeping an eye out for anyone to sneak up behind them. 

“Maria?” she mutters.

“She and Phil double-teamed Clint, he’s out,” says Natasha. “We tried tailing her, that backfired. Figured I could come give you a hand.”

Melinda nods, slipping behind another wall and asking, “Everyone still in?”

“I think so.” Natasha nods to her glowing life bar, which is about three-quarters of the way full. “Phil got in a couple shots on my arms, but it’s nothing.”

“C’mon,” Melinda says, darting out and starting to circle the edges of the course. She hasn’t seen Nick yet, which isn’t good. That means he’s probably lying low too, waiting to strike.

She and Natasha work as a unit for a minute or two before she hears Natasha yell “Son of a bitch!” and her pack beeps, which means it’s got less than 25% life left. They duck behind a wall and Natasha growls, “I think it was that Sif girl. Goddammit.”

“Wait here.” Melinda slips out and loops around to tail the blue team member who shot Natasha. She thinks it has to be Phil from the way the person is moving, but then she spots a black ponytail swinging and raises an eyebrow. She keeps following Sif, and she’s so focused she almost misses another flash of blue behind her and is able to duck just in time to avoid getting shot in the chest. She hears her pack ping though, which means someone got her somewhere.  _ Shit. _

She risks a look through the hole in the wall she’s hiding behind and - of  _ course _ it was Phil. He’s hiding as best he can behind one of the silly obstacles that’s just slightly too small to cover all of him, which she’s grateful for. Sooner or later, he has to get distracted, and she’ll strike. 

It actually takes less time than she thought, because someone (Jane?) darts by in a panic and Phil takes the opportunity to stand up and shoot at her, which gives Melinda a perfect opportunity to shoot him in the stomach. It’s not a killshot, but it does deplete a good chunk of his life bar. She hears him muttering to himself as he flees.

The two minute buzzer goes off before she knows it, and honestly at this point she’s not sure who’s in the game and who isn’t. It’s been too quiet for her liking, so maybe there are only one or two of them left. She’s extra careful now, since her life bar is at about 60%. If she can keep it above 50%, that might make the difference between victory and defeat. 

She hears footsteps ahead of her and drops into a defensive crouch. She’s betting it’s either Maria or Nick. If it’s Maria, she can cat-and-mouse her into a corner, but Nick will try to get behind her and-

There’s a  _ ping _ from her pack. “Shit!” she hisses, glancing around to try to spot whoever it is.

She gets a laugh, which definitely isn’t Maria’s or Nick’s, and a woman’s voice responding, “I thought you’d be better than this!”

_ Sif. _ Melinda narrows her eyes and whirls around, calling, “I am!” Then she heads in the direction she thought the footsteps were going, and begins shooting the instant she sees a flash of blue ahead of her. At first she thinks maybe she was unsuccessful when the blue disappears behind a wall, but there’s a familiar  _ ping _ from Sif’s pack and she smirks. 

She spends what feels like forever tracking Sif, occasionally getting in stupid arm and leg shots and getting herself shot for her troubles. Her pack’s down to 38% and she’s starting to get exasperated, so when the thirty second buzzer goes off she decides  _ fuck it _ and leaps out to shoot Sif square in the chest. 

This would’ve worked out better if Sif had not also had the same idea, and hit her in the chest also, seconds before Melinda’s shot connects

“Dammit,” growls Melinda. “Just had to go for the hero moment, didn’t you?” 

“Isn’t that what  _ you _ did?” Sif replies, which is... _ true _ , if annoying.

They head out together, and Melinda’s still irritated, but Sif looks - smug? Melinda’s not quite sure how to describe the look on Sif’s face, but she wants to reach over and wipe it off.

When they walk back into the room where they turn in their gear, Clint comes over for a high five. “That was so badass!” 

“Would’ve been better if I’d gotten her first,” mutters Melinda, wriggling out of her pack. 

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but I’d say you did pretty good. Don’t sweat it, I’m pretty sure we’ve got this in the bag.”

But once the final points are tallied, Phil’s team is the one that ekes ahead by a mere 50 points, and Sif’s score is just slightly better than Melinda’s. “Guess your plan didn’t work as well as you thought it did,” Maria teases Thor, who laughs good-naturedly.

Melinda narrows her eyes. Sif, who was talking to Hogun and Volstagg before the results flashed up on the screen, comes over, grinning. “Well done,” she said, offering her hand. “I hope there’s no hard feelings about those last few seconds. You’re damn good, I’d love to go up against you again.”

“Oh?” Melinda asks, not shaking her hand just yet. “How about next weekend? Saturday, meet here at 3 PM. No friends to help either of us, just you and me. Highest individual score wins, automatic win if one of us can get the other out.”

Sif’s eyes light up. “You’re on,” she says, smirking.

Natasha makes a noise that’s probably a snort, but Melinda ignores her.

\---

The next week is torturous. Melinda can’t get Sif out of her head - she  _ can _ beat her, she knows that, she just needs to figure out her techniques. Her roommate Victoria walks in on her muttering to herself and sketching out the course layout over and over again on Tuesday night, and just rolls her eyes. “You could just ask her if she wants to have sex with you,” Victoria says after Melinda explains. “‘belle says she’s a total player, she’s slept with half the girls on the team. You’re hot, there’s no way she’d say no.”

“I don’t want to sleep with her,” Melinda retorts. “I want to  _ beat _ her.”

“Whatever,” snorts Victoria. “Have fun with your weird sexy laser tag competition. Text me if you need the room afterwards, I’ll clear out.”

Phil, too, seems convinced this is about her secretly wanting to fuck Sif. “You know you can just ask her out, right?” he asks one day right before class starts. “I know you don’t like traditional dating but that’s how most people express interest, not through...weird bravado rituals.”

“She beat me,” replies Melinda, glaring at him. “I’m going to figure out how, and I’m going to win. That’s all this is.”

“Okay,” says Phil with a laugh. “Whatever you say, Mel.”

Not like  _ he  _ knows anything about romance. He and Nick have been dancing around each other since freshman year and it’s getting ridiculous. This is totally different. She just knows she can beat this girl, so she’s gonna do it.

Her friends all know better than to show up to cheer her on on Saturday (it would be both embarrassing and distracting), but Phil texts her a string of thumbs up and confetti emojis and Nick just sends  _ Kick her ass. _ It makes her smile. 

She arrives with ten minutes to spare, unsure whether Sif will be one of those people who comes early or arrives right on time. Apparently, it’s the latter, because Sif ambles in right at three, followed by her...entourage. Thor, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, all of whom look excited.

“Don’t worry, they’re not playing,” Sif says when she sees the look on Melinda’s face. “They just follow me everywhere. Like dogs.”

“I will choose to take that as the compliment I’m sure you mean it to be,” replies Fandral cheerfully. Then he looks at Melinda and winks. “We meet again, m’lady.”

“Fandral, don’t hit on my nemesis,” says Sif, rolling her eyes. “It’s tacky.”

“Let her speak for herself, Sif!” Fandral protests, grinning. “Isn’t that what you’re all about? Autonomy and whatnot?”

"You are asking for a punch," Hogun tells him dryly.

“ _ She  _ is not interested in you,” Melinda snarks. “Let’s just get started.”

\---

When the end-of-session buzzer goes off, Melinda’s so focused on the game that she almost doesn’t hear it. She knows that she and Sif basically spent the whole time stalking each other - she fired off some shots at the other team’s players when she got the opportunity, but she isn’t sure Sif did the same - but she has no idea how either of them actually did.

Finally, the scores flash up on the board. Melinda’s team won - and so did she.

“Well, well,” Sif says, ambling over with a smirk. “Looks like you’ve won the bet.”

Melinda nods. “Looks like. You did pretty well yourself, though. Nice job.”

“Thanks. It was fun.” Sif’s eyes gleam as she adds, “I don’t suppose you’d consider doing it again sometime?”

Melinda means to say something like  _ sure _ or  _ I’ll think about it, _ but instead what comes out is, “Only if you’ll go out to dinner with me tomorrow night.”

Sif seems surprised, but quickly recovers and says with a grin, “I’d be delighted, Melinda.”

Okay, so maybe Victoria  _ was  _ onto something.


End file.
